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A young unwed girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, she confides
this
> 'news' to her mother.
> Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this
> to you?
> I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
> Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and
> distinguished man with gray hair and
> impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the
> house.
>
> He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl,
> and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the
> problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family
> situation, but I'll take responsibility.
>
> If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a
> beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy
> will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is
> twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However,
> if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
> At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand
> firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,

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ؼ/font>       "You can try again!"

Equation 1:

            Study = Don't Fail

Equation 2:

            Don't Study = Fail

Adding equation 1 & 2

Study + Don't Study = Don't Fail + Fail

Taking Study & Fail common,

    Study ( 1 + Don't ) = Fail ( 1 + Don't )

Cancel ( 1 + Don't ) on both sides,

STUDY = FAIL !!!

Now tell me why should we waste our time???!!!!!!!!

"More Study more confusion" - Subhash Chandra Bose

"No Study , No Confusion"

Confusion leads to failure, and it comes from study so by avoiding heavy study we can avoid failure

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times....

"When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not leave them. Mothers said, 'think of the starving children in India and finish the dinner.' And now I tell my children: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in India who would make you starve, if you don't.'"

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will
cost to extract wisdom teeth.

"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says.
"Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock
the price down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the
teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20."
"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my
students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10."
"Marvelous," says the man,

"book my wife for next Tuesday!"

THE FUTURE CUSTOMER SERVICE........................

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut."

Customer: "Haloo, can I order ."

Operator: "Can I have your multi purpose Smart Card number, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold on .... 6102049998-45-54610"

Operator: "OK ... you're .. Mr Perera and you're calling from Dhehiwela. Perera. Your home number is 4123456, your office 76543210 and your mobile is 077 1234567. "

Customer: "How did you get all my phone numbers?"

Operator: "We are connected to the Main CRM system Sir"

Customer: "I want Seafood Pizza .."

Operator: "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "Why?????!"

Operator: "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and an even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What? ... What do you recommend then?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know I will like it?"

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK, I give up .. Give me three family sized ones then. How much will that cost?

Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs.985/-"

Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"

Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you're owing your bank Rs.13,929.55 since October last year" "That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir.

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator: "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it by your motorcycle.."

Customer: " What????????!"

Operator: "According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,... registration number BE1123 "

Customer: "*'!^ *#?@%^**%^I7*"

Operator: "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language at a policeman

Customer: [Speechless]

Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing ... by the way .. aren't you giving me that 3 Free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also a diabetic ..... "

Customer :?......?.....?...*..*.....??..* . **..........?**. *???.

Once upon a time, in a village, there came a lion & started troubling the villagers. Getting frustrated because of the lion, the people decided to take some action. They decided that after 6:00 o'clock in the evening everybody will return home and lock the doors from inside. The trick worked, lion came and found nothing. Next day also it came and saw the same thing everywhere! It happened for 2-3 nights. Then finally one day, the frustrated lion came and locked all the doors from outside and went back into the forest.

Now suggest some good title for the story!

Reminder: You are asked to suggest the title of the story and not the moral

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Title:

Sherlock Homes!!!

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?

jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho,

Aur uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?"

What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE -

In both caseS you feel "aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta"

Ek admi sadhu se bola,

meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.

sadhu bola

Hi Boss,

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work...
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted

That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.

There were these two friends and both of them had Sardarji drivers. They were having an argument about whose driver is more stupid. So one of the friends called his driver:"Oye Santa Singh"...

Santa Singh replied: "Ji praaJi" his boss said: "take this 100Rs, go to Showroom and buy a Mercedes Benz for me"
Santa Singh said: Oh fikar hi na karo ji..mein abhi aaya"

The boss said to his friend in a winning tone.." See how stupid he is..he went to buy a Mercedes for only100Rs,"
The other friend said" Still my driver is more stupid" Then he called his driver Banta Singh and said" Go home and check if I'm there"..............???? Banta singh said" ji mein abhi aata hoon dekh kar".. His boss said "see my driver is more stupid.. he can't even realize that how can i be at home if i m here"

Now Santa and Banta met on their way.. Santa: My boss is sooo stupid..he gave me 100Rs, to buy a mercedes..he does not even know that today is Sunday and all showrooms are closed...

Banta: My boss is even more stupid.. He sent me to check if he is home..he has a cell phone .he could have called home and check if he is there..??

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